Growing Up Is Hard To Do

I was thinking about life in my 20's as my eldest son 20th birthday approached. When I looked back and wondered where my life went I was astonished.

In my 20's I thought I was happy, I became a wife, I became a mother, I thought I steered my own ship.

In my 30's I thought well it can't get any worse, I became a mother of teenagers, I was no longer a wife, I began to rebuild, I knew I did not steer the ship.

Now in my 40's I think I get it and then BOOM I absolutely do not have a clue, I am a mother of boys becoming men, I think I'm done rebuilding and then I need to restructure.

I am Looking Forward now not back (as much), as I realize growing up is hard to do. I know the Lord directs the ship and I am a passenger most of the time that gives me comfort, but boy I struggle to keep Him at the helm. I want to jump in the captain's chair at any moment.

I think growing up is hard because every day I learn a little more about me. Growing up brings trials, struggles but also unsurpassed joy and unceasing love. Life is full of well "life". I'm on top of the world and then down in the dumps...not bipolar, but LIFE.

Life is not a game and you get to hand off the ball when things get tough. Life needs to be lived, experienced, felt! Whenever I think I can't, I am given an opportunity to see that I can. Whenever times have been tough, I have a place to fall softly. Whenever I am overwhelmed, help arrives to see me through. God is a faithful God. He hands me opportunities to shine, He offers me people to love, He lays before me the wonders of life. When I feel like I am drowning, He tells me to stand on the Rock.

As I manage my way through "life", I learn something new about the Lord...The Lord, hides me in the cleft the rock. He beacons me to His presence. I learn so much about His protection over me. He reminds me He is my God and I shall have nothing and no one before Him. He shows me His glory, amazing, amazing glory. Where else would I rather be than in His will, wherever He leads me. What else would I rather see than His wondrous glory!

Exodus 33:18-23 Then Moses said, "Now show me your glory." And the LORD said, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. But," he said, "you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live." Then the LORD said, "There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. 22 When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen."