A Lesson in Hope

Nothing hurts worse than when my heart is breaking. Nothing feels as isolating as when I grieve for my children. Nothing feels right when my sons are in pain. Mommy use to be able to kiss the hurts away. Mommy use to bandage a scrape or ice a bump. Mommy use to be able to make things okay again. Now mommy has to watch as they experience life and it's hard to watch as they go through storms. I want to stop the winds and shattering rain. I want hold back the crashing waves. I long for the days of kissing the boos boos away. How can the heart take so much grief? How much pain do I have to watch and not be able to stop?

I feel as if a stone was around my neck and with tribulation and trials the stone grows heavier and I grow weaker. One of my kids recently spoke of a trust in the Lord in all situations. I usually have that trust, but when is comes to my kids it's harder for me to release them to the loving trustful arms of the Father. Even though my faith is strong, it's still hard. I know God has placed me with the responsibility and charge over my kids, but it's still hard for me to let go and let God. The Lord is their Heavenly Father too and I know I can trust them to Him.

I have to remember the hope in Christ is what I should rely on. His hope not my hope, His peace not my peace, His grace not my grace. I realize I am a mother designed by God to nurture to raise them up to face the storms with a confidence in God. As I walk down the road of motherhood, I learn so many things about God and His love for us. I reach a point of seeing His goodness toward us. I can see the evidence of hope in my children. I can see a trust in God in them. I can see God's grace upon them. All those things make it easier to believe and trust the Lord with their futures, their joy and happiness.

I have to stand back and watch as they go through tough times and watch them manage their lives with a hope in Christ. My sons know who their Savior is. My sons know who has redeemed them. My sons have a love for their Lord. My sons have been raised in a family that relies on God in the good and plentiful times and in the trying times.

As we manage our lives with hope, I pray for goodness to come upon them all the days of their lives. I pray for peace to come to them and their families. I pray for a love for the Lord never stops growing. I pray they make it through the ordeals and trials of life with a hope in the Lord.

God has blessed me with a wonderful treasure. The treasure of 3 sons, who I love and adore. My 3 sons who make my life easy and hard. My 3 sons, that make me laugh, given me tears, loved me when I was unlovable, taught me about faith, begged me for one more bed time story, told me I was too overprotective, come to me with problems to solve, given me gray hairs and said "I love you mom!" with a straight face, hugged me in front of their friends, made me pick up their dirty socks off the floor and best of all allowed me to be their mom!

How I love to love them!

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. – Hebrews 11:1