Humble Myself

Someone just emailed me and told me I was stinking awesome. Right now I don't feel to awesome. Right now I want to curl up into a ball and weep until I have no more tears. Right now I want to run away from my feelings. Right now I want to bask in a cove of nothingness. Right now I rather feel angry than hurt. Right now I'm going through the motions of living without really living. Right now I rather feel nothing than something. Right now I wish I could go into my skin and not deal with the realities of life... Alas life is everywhere. I have no choice in the matter. I have relinquished control to my Lord.

Having those moments of overwhelming emotion is so hard to deal with. I sometimes wonder why I have to feel at all. My human mind can not conceive the need to feel heartache, pain, sorrow. I guess it's so I can then know bliss, joy and happiness. Why does life have to be so hard!

To answer the question, I have to humble myself. Humble means to make oneself lowly, but not just lowly but to destroy the independence, power, or will of...That is what I struggle with. Destroying my independence, letting go of power, yielding my will for God's will. So I humbling myself, I can see the Lord's plan and let Him guide me through this life.

Humble myself to our Father in Heaven will...so I must feel, I must trudge through, I must relinquish my wants and needs to better His kingdom. I don't want to be God, but I find I step into the role so often, the role of wanting it my way. The role of disobedience. The role of selfishness, the role of hanging on to the past, the role of bitterness, the role of having control.

So as I learn to humble myself before the Lord, I learn that everything has a place and time in the universe. I learn the blessings of "feeling" even the hurts or pain, there can still be joy. I learn the Lord is with me and when I grow faint He will lift me up.

I humble myself, my will, my desires and make way for His desires for me. I don't know what is to come, I just know it will be okay, when He leads me!

Jame 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up

Following your heart

I've encountered a euphoric feeling lately. I don't know how to describe it. I've reconnected with a friend from High School. We weren't close friends then, we just saw each other, meaning I had seen him a few times and we had mutual friends. I often wonder why God brings certain people into my life and always on His perfect timing.

I didn't know how much I needed this friend, until I needed him. I didn't know anything about his life. I didn't know what his circumstances were. I didn't know how he had gotten on all these years. Frankly, High school was so many years ago. But there was a bond, a camaraderie as we began to get reacquainted. It's been fun to banter about the past. It's been great learning about someone's life. Even when he shared the not so pleasant side of his life, it was refreshing to hear truth and honesty. I also willingly shared my experiences and life.

I'm not a person who trusts easily, but the Lord gave me a peace about it. The summation of my life thus far was exactly what my friend needed to hear. There is life after divorce. There can be a healing, there can be joy and happiness again. The message was not mine, the message was from our Father in heaven. He can make us whole once again. Even in the midst of utter despair our God is with us, whom then shall we fear. The message was hope!

As I linger about on this vast planet, it always amazes me how the Lord of creation uses my past, my hurts, my frustrations to help someone else. I am a women designed in the likeness of my creator. A women, that is steadfast, prayerful and seeks His will. I am a women, who can impact those around me, without even realizing it. It makes me more aware of how much love, God has for us. He loves us so much He uses my life to reach out and touch someone else. He brings beauty from ashes, He delights in raising up the ruins of long ago pain and anguish. He brings water from the rocks, He leads us through the dark and scary valley, to the other side of life.

What an honor to be called His daughter, what a wondrous God to bring someone into my life to show them His love, His grace and be His hands, His feet. I want to always share my past with others, so they may see not my struggle but what anyone with Christ in their hearts can overcome. We are made victors through the sacrifice and atonement of Jesus Christ. I have no other agendas, but to praise our Heavenly Father through this reawakening and stirring He has given me. I pray for His hand to be upon my friend as he walks down the path and I know he can make it through the turmoil to get to the peace God has for him.

I trust the Lord and lean not on my own understanding...He is too big of a God to be put in a box. The Lord is limitless, He is timeless, He is lovely, He brings the cool breezes to comfort me, He raises up His standard for me, He reveals things secret and unknown, He is the Alpha the Omega...He is Jehovah, my Lord, my God, my Savior...How I love my God, for showing me that He can bring forth springs in the desolate wasteland...

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23

For Mike, a friend I shall be forever grateful for meeting again...

Every woman has something to offer

I was privileged to have a young women in my office a few weeks back talking about things quite frankly I usually have no passion for...except this time the Lord gave me a startling wake up call!

I need to step out of my bubble and get to being about His business. Even when I don't think I can make a difference...well truthfully I can't, but He can!

She struck a cord with me...she said "Every woman has something to offer."

Wow! That was a Zing right to the heart of hearts. Yes, she was right. All women have something to offer! Not just the Beth Moore's or Joyce Meyers' out there. (I do hold those women in high regard) Every women...that means me...that means you. I'm every women, you are every woman!

It's like that goofing song...I'm every women! I thought this is a new concept for most women. It's an empowering concept! It's an uplifting concept! This can revitalize churches...let's rise up as women and heed the call God has for all of us!

Whether you are an at home mother, a taxi driver, school teacher, maid, a vice president of a bank, a lawyer, a field worker, a physical therapist....it doesn't matter what you do, you impact those around you! You count! You matter to Jesus! You can change the world by your love and devotion. You can. You can! You have a uniqueness. You are like no one else. Your story, is yours. How you encountered Jesus is your own special tale. You can motivate, you can console, you can help, you can guide, you can advise, like no one else can!!!

Every woman has something to offer means we are of value. All women seek approval in some form or fashion, the Lord has already put His stamp of approval on you. His stamp will never go void. His stamp never gets out dated. His stamp never expires.

You are chosen for a special calling. You are picked because of your abilities. You are important to the ministry of God. You might be a recovering alcoholic, who can love folks with addiction like no one else can. You might have a disability or and illness, that allows you to offer comfort to someone who is struggling with it.

Look at your life and your circle of influence. Now close your eyes and imagine expanding it to the world. You have something to offer. You have something to present to the Lord, yourself. Think about this, The Lord of all creation, knew you before you were ever born! You matter to God. He knew you, He knows you. Discover what opportunities the Lord presents to you. You have something to offer!

If your floundering, pray for direction. If you're unsure, ask the Lord for clarity. If you are so busy in life you don't make time for God, stop and be still and know He is your God. If you're fearful, ask God for courage.

Every woman has something to offer....be the woman God has called you to be. Don't hold back, don't slow down, move forward with confidence in your Savior, Jesus!

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:25-26

Thanks Lynn for reminding me!

Standing in Gap

I just had an incredible urge to pray for someone, so I did. I stopped what I was doing and prayed. It is an amazing feeling to lift someone up in prayer to stand in the gap. It's powerful connection between two people. I don't know why God places certain people on my heart, but He does. I encourage you to always listen to that prompting. I don't know what is happening for the person laid on my heart. I don't what they are going through or about to encounter, but I know they need me to Stand in the Gap and lift them up to our Heavenly Father.

When we intercede for others, it is an amazing thing. Prayer can be the difference in someone's life. I want to encourage everyone to stop and pray for others. I know miracles have happened in my own life because someone stopped and prayed for me. I want to be the intercessor for my children, my loved one, my friends, my church and for those I have never even met before.

How powerful is prayer? It is powerful enough for Jesus to teach us how to pray. It is powerful enough to change someone's heart. It is strong enough to send help when help is needed. It is strong enough to bring a prodigal home. It is wondrous enough to place a hedge of protection around someone. It wondrous enough to save a life.

How amazing is the Lord, to let us Stand in the Gap and prayer for others. How much mercy He has for each and every one of us. What depth of faith, He brings to me as He lays before the treasures of prayer for someone. I, Stand in the Gap, awaiting His prompting...won't you join me in prayer for someone in your life that needs His grace, His peace, His comfort, His healing.

"I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it." Ezekiel 22:30

A Clanging Cymbal

I have been in a deep personal study today in I Corinthians. I came to the chapter on love. I had to pause and pray. I have become a clanging cymbal. I do not love as I should. It made revisit all my relationships. It made me revisit all the things I do in my daily life.

What I found out is...I need to love. Not a selfish love, in which, I receive accolades for giving love, but a pure love, an agape love and unconditional love. Love does not have time lines. Love does not have degrees. It just is...God is love.

It is so much easier to love only the lovable. It is so much simpler to give love if it's returned. It less complicated to love someone that love us. It does not require effort to love those that I deem appealing. I am nothing, if I do not love. I can have all the faith, but if I do not love it is worth nothing. Love should be bountiful not empty. Love should be all encompassing. Love has rules, loves requires self denial. Love requires willingness. Love is merciful. Love is naturally truthful. Love is not proud. Love is not evil. Love should be refuge, a safe haven. Love should not bring strife or worry. Love is diligent. Love is necessary to complete my faith.

As a reach higher in my walk with the Lord, I want to please Him, by loving others as He loves them. I need to see people like He sees them. My eyes and heart are tainted by the world and I need to love as He loves me. It will certainly be a hard to change my heart, but I know the Lord can soften it. I trust my Father in heaven to show me and give me opportunities to show the love of Christ.

1 Corinthians 13 ¹ Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. ² And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³ And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. ⁴ Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; ⁵ does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; ⁶ does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; ⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. ⁸ Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part. ¹⁰ But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away. ¹¹ When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. ¹² For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

¹³ And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Growing Up Is Hard To Do

I was thinking about life in my 20's as my eldest son 20th birthday approached. When I looked back and wondered where my life went I was astonished.

In my 20's I thought I was happy, I became a wife, I became a mother, I thought I steered my own ship.

In my 30's I thought well it can't get any worse, I became a mother of teenagers, I was no longer a wife, I began to rebuild, I knew I did not steer the ship.

Now in my 40's I think I get it and then BOOM I absolutely do not have a clue, I am a mother of boys becoming men, I think I'm done rebuilding and then I need to restructure.

I am Looking Forward now not back (as much), as I realize growing up is hard to do. I know the Lord directs the ship and I am a passenger most of the time that gives me comfort, but boy I struggle to keep Him at the helm. I want to jump in the captain's chair at any moment.

I think growing up is hard because every day I learn a little more about me. Growing up brings trials, struggles but also unsurpassed joy and unceasing love. Life is full of well "life". I'm on top of the world and then down in the dumps...not bipolar, but LIFE.

Life is not a game and you get to hand off the ball when things get tough. Life needs to be lived, experienced, felt! Whenever I think I can't, I am given an opportunity to see that I can. Whenever times have been tough, I have a place to fall softly. Whenever I am overwhelmed, help arrives to see me through. God is a faithful God. He hands me opportunities to shine, He offers me people to love, He lays before me the wonders of life. When I feel like I am drowning, He tells me to stand on the Rock.

As I manage my way through "life", I learn something new about the Lord...The Lord, hides me in the cleft the rock. He beacons me to His presence. I learn so much about His protection over me. He reminds me He is my God and I shall have nothing and no one before Him. He shows me His glory, amazing, amazing glory. Where else would I rather be than in His will, wherever He leads me. What else would I rather see than His wondrous glory!

Exodus 33:18-23 Then Moses said, "Now show me your glory." And the LORD said, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. But," he said, "you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live." Then the LORD said, "There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. 22 When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen."

Be All You Can Be

Do you every wonder where inspiration comes from?
Is it a seed planted long ago? What inspires you, what motivates you to act, what besides the alarm clock gets you out of bed in the morning or blankets your mind before you go to sleep?
Thoughts of what has been, what will be…

Inspiration can elude us and I’ll tell you why…
Inspiration is hard to come by when you are struggling to put food on the table, dealing with a bad relationship, trying to overcome an addiction or what ever this life throws at you.

At times feeling defeated in circumstances we cannot control, foresee or even want to deal with. The spouse who betrays you, the kid who rebels, the family always in a state of “want” and those friends that become a burden instead of a blessing.

Inspiration is hard to find when you’re in crisis mode; you know when everything is coming up thorns instead of roses. We have all been there in crisis mode…where the over the counter sleep aid becomes a crutch to good night’s sleep. Then I start wondering, is there more than just surviving?

I hate the ad campaign for the military …. Be all that you can be. Can we ever be all that we can be? If we get there are we happy? Is it satisfying to be all you can be? Sometimes I get stuck in the mud, the muck the mire of everyday living, for instance when I’m in the “Complain mode”, which usually accompanied by “ WOW, I didn’t know I had so many wrinkles”…or “I’m tired of hanging on by my finger nails,” mode, when I notice I could use a manicure…or my absolute favorite, “I really don’t want to talk about it right now,” mode, as I occupying my time cleaning around the sink basin usually with an old toothbrush…

How can I get inspiration or have time for a single thought that’s my own!
It can be a frustrating time, but there is hope!

I was reading the following passage and I had to stop. Maybe you have had a similar experience, when God smacks you in the forehead, or gently nudges you in the right direction; mostly He has to smack me.

1 Thessalonians 1:3
We continually remember you before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Inspired by the hope in Christ…
Not inspired by the ad on the TV, a talk show host or even the magazine article that made you cry. Inspired by a hope in Christ, not the miracle method, but a miracle man!

I had to stop and just thank the Lord for reminding me. My motivation in my daily life was to get through the day without thinking about it. Inspiration in Christ, what a concept, sometimes I think God reveals something to me, so I can say “It’s a good thing your God, and I’m not!” I’m sure most people are happy about that.

Laboring in love, laboring in love for the daily chores, even making a meal (even PB& J sandwiches) for my family is a labor in love. Working in faith, this is what I found, working through the toughest times in faith. FAITH, which can outlast loneliness, FAITH calming me when I’m being overwhelmed and with FAITH defeat any problem, yes with a faith that can move mountains. Inspired endurance that means enduring the craziness, enduring the heartache, enduring the every day mundane routines, but inspired by a hope in Jesus!!

In Second Timothy 4:7-8 It says “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award me on that day-and not only me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.”

I say let’s fight the fight, be all that you can be, keep the faith. Life’s not a cake walk, but we can endure anything by having a hope in Jesus. As the Lord challenges me, I encourage all of you to be all that you can be.

Be all that you can be, with inspiration by the hope in Jesus. Be all that you can be, as you labor in love for your family and friends. Be all that you can be, enduring all things.

Be all that you can be with Christ! He can make all things new. He can restore you and He can bring beauty from ashes. He can move mountains. He can change your heart. He can heal a broken heart. He can bring joy in a sad situation. He can bring you hope when you feel hopeless. He can! All you have to do is believe in Him!!

Let’s go out and Be all we can be in Christ.